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| Notoriously touchy about his honour, Pushkin fought a total of twenty-nine duels, and was fatally wounded in such an encounter with Georges-Charles de Heeckeren d'Anthès. D'Anthès, a French officer serving with the Chevalier Guard Regiment, had been attempting to seduce the poet's wife, Natalya Pushkina. Pushkin's early death at the age of 37 is still regarded as a catastrophe for Russian literature. |
Many years ago , a man named Alexander Pushkin wrote a poem. He wrote it because, like any other poet he found his subject in unrequited love. I haven't read his biography , but I know he duelled and ended up dead. I don't know why that makes me laugh. No, it's not cruel because I laugh at the tragedy ... and in my mind I can picture him cursing in Russian.
Chyort voz'mi!
Alexander should have stuck to poetry.
Alexander should have stuck to poetry.
Anyway unrequited love is no foreign concept to me , you care about someone and you have only good intentions for them (you think). Because like it or not we need people selfishly . We want them to make us feel good, feel safe, wanted and gratified by societal expectations. Would we still love them if they didn't satisfy a need in us?
Have I ever been in love? I've often asked myself . I use 20% logic and 80% emotion which is tragic. When I care about someone's emotional, spiritual and intellectual progress to the point where I feel like I should exert myself in that progress and it's important to me - that is love. Or , when I fall back into that fundamental woman who cares only for taking care of her man in some lame50s housewives way and I don't feel ashamed that's love. Or when I feel like every fibre of my being is being re-wired to adjust to new software (me 2.0).
So when you feel all the above , you care about someone and you want them to be happy and they can't return the affection. You don't get bitter , after all you love them right?
So you pull a Pushkin you don't duel , you write a terribly heartfelt poem with the line : May God Grant Another Love You So ... This is the best option , than seeing them as sad , miserable and lonely or maybe not thinking about them at all or rather seeing yourself as sad , miserable or lonely.
You say you want what is best for them but Pushkin was a martyr , I'm not convinced human beings are that selfless . I'm not convinced that Pushkin was that selfless either. Maybe the best way of putting it is - seeing it as a process rather than an immediate action.
Then again the duel sounds a bit better ...
Quick and painless.
I loved you; even now I may confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.
